Seven ways of winning a Concurrence

As social animals, our successes depends on winning concurrences oh others we are dealing with. A few well known ways of winning concurrences are –

1.         Compelling others,
2.         Manipulating others,
3.         Persuading others through reasoning,
4.         Impressing others, so that they don’t refuse to concur,
5.         Negotiating a compromise for an exchange of concurrences,
6.         Pleasing others with your service, manners, etc and finally    
7.         Moving others to show mercy.

In some cases, more than one of these ways may work simultaneously, while in some others, reason of a concurrence may be different for the persons involved in the concurrence.

Then, I was recently married and had to take frequent leaves from duty to attend to my ailing wife. When I approached my boss for leave once again on the same ground, he granted it but warned me that I had taken too many leaves in then recent times and i would not be granted any more leaves for the next three months. The boss was friendly with all of us young subordinates of his, so I replied in light vain, “Sir, you never gave me any leaves, but I took them, and will take again if I need”, with a wide smile on my face. He burst with a laughter, “Naughty boy”.

Different persons conduct themselves in different ways under different circumstances. So, for winning a concurrence, you need to understand the other person nd create circumstances congenial for a concurrence. Of course, your genuineness is always a must and appreciated generally. Now, I deal with the above-said seven ways, one by one.

1.     

1. C  1. Compelling others for concurring

This is the way of rulers and of those who have little respect to human value of equality of treatment to others as you would like for yourself. All and under all circumstances are not capable for using this way of winning a concurrence. For the civilized humanity, this is the beastly way where might is right applies. Its modern version is political and administrative corrupt practices.

Compelling a person to yield through applying a disciplinary norm is different from simply compelling through force or terror. This falls under third way listed above.    

2.     

2. 2. Manipulating others for concurring

I think this way is highly prevelant in India since ancient times. Brahmins, religious preachers, so-called saints, sanyasis and sadhus, etc manipulate others psychologically with their dress and other outfits, display of their so-called divine links, false promises for bestowing their blessings for the latter’s welfare, and other manipulative tactics such as divine terror, etc to make them to yield to their desires but without directly asking for. And lastly, they say that they don’t ask for anything but people give them on their own which they accept as divine gifts.

Another class using the same tactics are called cheaters, but tactically there is no difference between cheaters and above-said divine representatives. Both aim at leading lavish lifestyles of their choices on others’ hard-earned money without doing any productive work by themselves. At one time not very long ago, nearly 50 percent of Indian population was involved in this practice. At one time, Boddha religion persuaded millions of youths to become monks and enjoy their lives without working under the same manipulative tactics. With spreading education in masses, people are gradually understanding such manipulative tactics and not yielding. But still, it continues to a great extent.

3.      

3. 3. Persuading others through reasoning

Persuading others through use of reasoning or logic is what is required by most of the upcoming intellectuals to establish their authority as a righteous person in the eyes of others coming in their contact. This may be with or without any authority with you. When you do it without any authority you need to do it as a social service to educate people on right conduct and morality etc.  

When you have some authority of imposing discipline on others, again you need to be logically right in teaching discipline to those under your control. For this, you need to be self-disciplined first to inspire your subordinates to follow suit. Of course, if some one does not behave, you may go for punitive measures to enforce discipline. Executives and managers in business organizations are empowered with such authority.   

4.       

Im4. Impressing others for concurring

This is the most humane and intellectual way of getting concurrence of others on your views on any matter, but it is time consuming and your integrity is a prerequisite. For this, you need not to ask for a favor for concurrence from anyone but build your image of a trustworthy person dedicated to your objectives. Once, such an image is in the air, people treat you and your words with reliability and trustworthiness and they concur on whatever you say. But you must be careful in not misusing this trust of others in you and say anything superfluous.

Persuading through reasoning discussed above makes a good beginning of creating such an impression of trustworthiness.

5.      

5. 5. Negotiating a compromise for an exchange of concurrences

‘Give and take’ is the right way particularly of the business world that may be applied to social fields also for winning others’ concurrence by providing yours to them on some other issues. But this is just a bargain.

6.    

   P6. Pleasing others with your service, manners, etc

One way of getting what you want from others is through pleasing them by your good services or sweet words. Poor and needy persons having some talent in them often use this way for their survival through help from others. In olden times, kings used to be pleased by various kinds of artists to get their favors for survival.

7.        

M7. Moving others to show Mercy

Finally, there are persons - poor, needy yet having no talents with them to please others to get their favors, they resort to display of their pitiable conditions to affluent persons to get something from them as their charitable acts. Such persons are often called beggars, the lowest level profession of humanity, yet it exists.